1
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:24,067
♪
2
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:27,810
FITZ:
Lots of guys will end up dead on a slab in a low-rent morgue,
3
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:31,857
but once in a lifetime someone
special comes along.
4
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:39,561
Unique, epic, awe-inspiring.
5
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:44,305
I'm talking about
a dying breed.
6
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:49,092
A real live, guns blazing,
bloody-knuckled goddamn hero.
7
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:53,183
Everybody dies,
8
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:57,666
but it took a guy with a set of stones like Richard Fitzpatrick
9
00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,451
to show you how to live.
10
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Make no bones about it.
11
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Fitz was a fucking legend.
12
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,807
Hell, I get more pussy
when I'm dead
13
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,158
than most guys get
when they're alive.
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LARRY:
I don't think that's
appropriate.
15
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,685
Way to kill the mood, asshole!
16
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:19,601
We shouldn't even be writing
an obituary at all, Richard.
17
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,733
We should be fighting to live!
18
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Who gives a shit, Larry?
19
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I'm going to be dead by the--
20
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When am I going to be dead?
21
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The beaver moon!
22
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Oh, God, you sound
like a broken record.
23
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We've still got another
72 hours,
24
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:32,570
and you know,
your death isn't a sure thing.
25
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:35,051
And the record plays on.
26
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,140
Suicidal tendencies are a sign
of low self-esteem.
27
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You need to realize
that people value you,
28
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and I will show you
that you are a good person!
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Fuck good!
30
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Nice guys finish last,
and do you know why?
31
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Uh, yeah, because they're so
busy being nice.
32
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Because they're pussies.
33
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Heroes burn out
in a blaze of glory,
34
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and I'm going to get mine.
35
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Now, where was I?
36
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[Moaning]
37
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♪
38
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♪ Without you
39
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♪ I'd find my smile
40
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♪ Without you
41
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,709
♪ I'd have won by a mile
42
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♪ Without you
43
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♪ Oh, life would be so grand
44
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,717
♪ Without you
45
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♪ I'm half a man
46
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♪ Without you
47
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[Sniffling]
48
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I feel like an orphan, man!
49
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Like an orphan who lost
a brother.
50
00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,009
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
51
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,141
There's so many things
I wanted to tell you.
52
00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,490
So many things to say!
53
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,144
Oh, God!
54
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,277
Fitzy?
55
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,669
Larry said he was writing
your obituary.
56
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,541
That doesn't mean
I'm fucking dead!
57
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[Slapping]
58
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:15,891
Oh, what the fuck?
59
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:18,328
Oh, you're so solid
for a ghost!
60
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,200
And warm!
61
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,592
Go walk through that wall.
62
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:23,855
How about I walk my fucking fist
through your face?
63
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,815
Still got that old Fitzy
sense of humour, eh?
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00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,339
So, what is it?
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00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,601
Is some unfinished business
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00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:31,689
keeping you chained
to the earth?
67
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Like, "Ahh!"
68
00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,083
You know what?
69
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,259
Sure, I'm a ghost and I have
unfinished business.
70
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:39,915
Look, what I need is a blaze of
glory worthy of the Fitz name.
71
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:43,353
What I need is to go out
with a bang.
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[Snapping fingers]
Got it.
73
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,704
I got a whole box here full
of Fitz awesomeness.
74
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Check it out.
75
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Some acid, a full set of teeth.
76
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First paycheque.
77
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:57,019
Oh, yeah!
78
00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:59,151
You, me and old Mrs. Mulroney.
79
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,893
Mrs. Mulroney?
80
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,199
Now that was a fucking
dream car.
81
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,722
Yeah, until some asshole
stole her.
82
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,768
Eleventh grade.
83
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,336
I was going to beat
Kyle Coxwell's
84
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,728
cross-county speed record.
85
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:14,254
Commercial Drive to Walker's
Point in 14:28.
86
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,864
Wonder what ever happened
to Kyle?
87
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:16,952
Fuck Kyle.
88
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:18,083
Yeah, fuck Kyle.
89
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,650
That record was going
to be all mine.
90
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:20,999
It still can be!
91
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,262
Josh, you're a fucking genius!
92
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,526
The doctors did tell my mom
I was special.
93
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,571
Hey, is Casper as friendly
as they say?
94
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:33,055
Mr. Fitzpatrick,
I hate to disturb you.
95
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:35,231
I can see you're a busy man.
96
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,406
If you hated to disturb me,
97
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,842
then you wouldn't fucking do it,
would you?
98
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,931
Come on, babe.
99
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,672
Shake it like you mean it!
100
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:46,460
The thing is, I'm doing a little
research on your son.
101
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,940
Oh, maybe you can find out
why he's such a fuck-knuckle.
102
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,421
Mm-hmm, yeah,
but I was wondering,
103
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:55,382
do you remember, has he ever
done anything nice?
104
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,906
Do I look like I have any time
for jokes, kid?
105
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,734
Oh, I know Richie.
106
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,605
There was one time I had
an infected uvula,
107
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,346
and couldn't do anything oral.
108
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,870
So, he let me give him
a foot job, same price.
109
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,830
Now that is a gentleman.
110
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,571
Foot job?
You do those?
111
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,876
Mm-hmm!
112
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,314
Take off your pants, sailor!
113
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KEN:
Come on, fuck me
like you owe me money!
114
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:24,759
[Phone ringing]
115
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JOSH:
There she is.
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Told you Kasip could find her.
117
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:36,814
FITZ:
Oh, Mrs. Mulroney,
what have they done to you?
118
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:39,687
JOSH:
"Namaste," it means "I recognize
the divinity in you."
119
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,863
Might as well drive
a tampon.
120
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,865
Can I kill
whoever did this?
121
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,606
No, no one's killing
anyone, Josh.
122
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I just want my car back.
123
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Got your back, bro!
124
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:53,614
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
125
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,398
You don't want to drive
sitting on broken glass.
126
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,965
You'll cut your bum!
127
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,445
Yeah, good point.
128
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:02,231
Yeah, hey?
129
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,886
[Glass shattering]
130
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,105
Fucking baby seat!
131
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Punt!
132
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,499
All right,
let's go, Fitzy!
133
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I'm taking her back!
134
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[Motor revving]
135
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,161
Oh, yeah!
136
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,431
Meghan, wait, wait!
137
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,998
I'm trying to track down
a good deed
138
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,260
your brother
may have done for you,
139
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,218
for his obituary.
140
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,178
Dick has never done anything
nice for me.
141
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,222
You know, one time
he even killed my cat!
142
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Anything at all!
143
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:39,964
Maybe he taught you
an important life lesson
144
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:40,965
when you were kids?
145
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,967
His name was Orange Cat.
146
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,795
I was 6 years old.
147
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:47,319
I came home one day from school
and he was gone,
148
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,017
and Dick told me
that he went to L.A.
149
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,453
to star in cat food commercials.
150
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,673
So, one day I brought a can
of cat food to school,
151
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,283
you know, for show and tell?
152
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,763
And I said, "This is my cat!
153
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,461
This is Orange Cat!
And he's a star!"
154
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:03,161
And they all laughed,
even the teacher.
155
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:06,643
I'm sorry for your loss.
156
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,036
Dick, Dick, Dick.
157
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:11,169
The only thing he ever thinks
about is himself!
158
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,258
Maybe that's what I need
to do.
159
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,869
You know,
like Dick's got his thing.
160
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,479
Being an asshole cat-killer.
161
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,350
Maybe I need to find my thing.
162
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,440
You mean, like a hobby?
163
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,704
Yeah, a life's purpose!
164
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,879
Thank you, Larry!
165
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,362
So, nothing at all then?
166
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:33,844
Meghan?
167
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,630
Can you restore her
to her former glory?
168
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,414
Fuck yeah!
169
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,981
In a day?
170
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,112
Fuck maybe.
171
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,462
LARRY:
Where have you been?
172
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,463
Out stealing cars, Mom.
173
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,162
You can see dead people too?
174
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,077
I thought I was the only one
with the fifth sense.
175
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,687
I thought we went
over this, Josh.
176
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,167
Wow!
177
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,777
I came here to ask Josh
about your good attributes,
178
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:56,693
only to find out that you've
been out stealing this vehicle?
179
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,869
It was mine first!
180
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,523
Josh is going to fix it up
real nice
181
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,612
so I can beat Kyle Cock-socket's
speed record.
182
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,222
Kyle Coxwell?
183
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,094
Didn't he race Dead Man's Curve
to set that record?
184
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,835
That's Dead Person's
Curve now.
185
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,663
Long story.
186
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,969
This dyke wiped out
on her Harley and...
187
00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,102
It's actually kind of
a short story, Josh.
188
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,625
And what are you,
the story police?
189
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,540
That doesn't exist.
190
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,455
Kyle nearly died
setting that record.
191
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:20,935
So?
192
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,240
I'll either beat his record,
or die like James Dean.
193
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,241
Either way,
I'm a fucking legend!
194
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,242
Yeah!
195
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,722
Then, I guess I have no choice.
196
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,245
Bingo, Larry!
197
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,508
You don't have a choice!
198
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,726
Josh, tell him
what he's won!
199
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,336
Well, Fitz, looks like
he's won a big old bag
200
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:34,949
of "Fuck off, Larry!"
201
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:35,906
I will go to the police.
202
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,952
You haven't got the balls!
203
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:41,999
I have got sizable balls,
mister!
204
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:45,046
Don't worry, boss.
I got this.
205
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,134
It's go time,
little man.
206
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,875
Okay, okay, fine!
207
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,877
Look, I'll make you a deal.
208
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,183
If I can find proof of even one
good deed that you're done
209
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,272
by the end of tomorrow,
you don't race.
210
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,883
Really?
211
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,711
[Laughing]
212
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,234
Fill your boots, little man.
213
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,888
But until then,
you leave me the fuck alone!
214
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:04,282
Deal!
215
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,328
Ahh!
216
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,076
Hello, hello, hi!
217
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,904
Will you go away,
gangly one?
218
00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:18,514
I am not in the mood
for your chicanery.
219
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,734
Did you stop think for a moment
that I might be?
220
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,126
Are you?
221
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,519
Of course not!
222
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,042
Be nice if you asked.
223
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,523
Guys, uh, listen,
I've just got a quick question
224
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,917
which I'm fairly certain
I know the answer to.
225
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:34,008
But in the spirit of digging
deep and male camaraderie,
226
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:38,708
has Richard ever done anything
nice for you?
227
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,667
Now is not the time
for jokes.
228
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,060
I'm not joking!
I'm desperate!
229
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,280
He's going to try to break
the county speed record.
230
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,630
Does he really think
he can beat
231
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:51,155
Kyle Coxwell's point-to-point
run of 14:28?
232
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,201
Such ego!
233
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,159
I know of only one other man
with an ego that big.
234
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,424
Look, if he gets the parts he
needs to fix that old car,
235
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,731
taking Dead Person's Curve
at that speed?
236
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,080
That is a suicide mission!
237
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,039
He means to take
his own life?
238
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,781
Please, please, if there's
anything, anything at all!
239
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,218
Has he ever shown you
any act of kindness,
240
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,350
or anything that made you happy?
241
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,874
You know what would
make us happy?
242
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:14,875
If he were dead.
243
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:15,919
Yes!
244
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,576
You know what this means?
245
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,013
That twisted party
will divide us no more!
246
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,755
Our mutual hatred
for all things Fitzpatrick
247
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,323
has brought us back
together!
248
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,368
Oh, cousin!
249
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,679
[Music playing]
250
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,682
Some of us
are trying to work!
251
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:47,342
So, which way are you going
to go with this?
252
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,343
I'm sorry?
253
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,127
The speech.
254
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,956
You know, the blah-blah,
who gives a fuck blah speech?
255
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:55,655
The one where you remind me
that I just beat cancer,
256
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,833
I got a new kid on the way and
it's time to pull up my socks.
257
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:03,532
This isn't my first go-round
on the crazy train, honey.
258
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,622
Oh, I have a speech,
but that's not it.
259
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:10,104
This is a business arrangement,
and I'm fine with that.
260
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:12,323
You got what you wanted,
261
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,630
and now, it's time
to discuss what I want.
262
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:17,154
You got what you want.
263
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,940
You played a short game to try
and get even with my son.
264
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,291
But me, I'm long haul.
265
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,641
I play for keeps,
266
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,991
and you and I both know that
you're not going anywhere
267
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,906
with a bun in your oven.
268
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,259
Hey, you know
what a foot job is?
269
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,920
[Radio playing]
270
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,356
Yodel-ay, mother-fucker!
271
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,968
What, you been out
272
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,578
square-dancing all night, asshole?
273
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:53,016
Fuck, is it time?
274
00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:54,844
Well, prep work's done, dude.
275
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,933
I don't know how, though.
276
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,066
It's like the car elves visited
last night,
277
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,371
and did all my work for me.
278
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,025
Thank you, car elves!
279
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,897
You are honest and just!
280
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,072
Josh, stay with me!
281
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:08,249
How we doing
on Mrs. Mulroney?
282
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,772
440 Magnum, check.
283
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,600
Her shifter, check.
284
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,558
Dana-60, posi-track rear-end, check.
285
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,952
When I say "check",
it means I don't have them.
286
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,780
What the fuck is wrong with you?
287
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,216
Fitz, I need parts.
288
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,740
Custom, vintage shit!
289
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,306
You know how long it takes
to order them?
290
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:25,005
Longer than it takes to steal
them from the Ruptals?
291
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,876
Hmm.
292
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:29,661
What the fuck?
293
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,798
Tire spikes?
294
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:38,192
Got to stay
two steps ahead, bro.
295
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,759
Trust me, you don't want
to feel the warm slap
296
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,238
of human entrails on your face,
297
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,458
and then realize you don't
have an exit strategy.
298
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:44,676
What the fuck is this?
299
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:48,158
Ah, this is for
special occasions.
300
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:49,681
I've been waiting weeks
to use this again.
301
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:52,597
Yeah, maybe we should huddle up
and talk strategy?
302
00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:55,078
No, no, no.
No time.
303
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,340
Synchronize watches.
304
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:59,169
Commence Operation:
Steal Their Shit.
305
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:02,303
It's going to be awesome!
306
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:11,138
Holy fuck!
307
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,139
It's everything we need
for the car!
308
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,184
Mother-fucker!
309
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,153
[Police sirens]
310
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,415
Cops, cops, cops!
311
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,156
Hide the car!
312
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,245
Priorities, dude!
313
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:34,204
[Sirens]
314
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,865
[Hammering]
315
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,562
Got you right
where I want you, Fitz.
316
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,042
This doesn't look like
your bedroom!
317
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,349
Stolen car.
318
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:49,872
No witnesses,
319
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,744
except someone left an envelope
full of cash at the scene,
320
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,790
with your business card attached.
321
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,575
Stupid fuck!
322
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:58,881
What, I didn't do anything!
323
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,535
No, Larry!
324
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,885
Is there any way
I could entice you
325
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,713
to overlook
this slight oversight?
326
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,715
Oh, I'm not going to arrest you.
327
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,848
I never saw a thing.
328
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,893
Well, that was easy.
329
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:14,070
Arresting you might
make my month,
330
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,464
but watching you die
in a car wreck,
331
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,335
that'll make my year.
332
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,864
That's it,
I'm going to kill that fuck.
333
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,865
Oh, really?
334
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,127
You get to kill Larry,
335
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,215
but I can't kill the guy
who messed up the car?
336
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:30,260
Double standard, much?
337
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,137
You weasely traitor fuck!
338
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,400
You left money
for a stolen car?
339
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,098
No, no, you bought it back,
and at a premium.
340
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,187
Which means technically,
you did something good!
341
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,276
You left that money,
douche-tard!
342
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,104
Yes, but I am your conscience, Richard,
343
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,019
so that means you did
the good thing too.
344
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,673
And now, you don't have
to prove anything.
345
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,022
Yeah, you cheated!
346
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,068
I... I found a loophole.
347
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,374
You've been asking
everyone I know
348
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,636
if I've ever done anything good,
349
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,116
and that's the best
you can come up with?
350
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,422
A fucking loophole?
351
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:04,207
All of your posturing,
your ego-ridden tirades.
352
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,253
You are really just
a scared little boy
353
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,776
who has accepted
his own mortality.
354
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,343
Damn straight!
355
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,214
All the more reason to go out
like a fucking legend.
356
00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,303
Richard,
I don't want you to die.
357
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,131
Why the fuck do you care?
358
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,177
No one else does.
359
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,135
Now fuck off,
I got a record to break.
360
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,058
You double-checked
the map?
361
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,886
Verified the route
twice, buddy.
362
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,193
Should be able to beat Kyle's
record by a full 10 minutes.
363
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,282
Give or take 10 minutes.
364
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:36,761
Hell, yeah.
365
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,677
She is good to go,
buddy!
366
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:42,463
How about one
for the road?
367
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:44,204
Hells yeah!
368
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:49,949
Until Stupid gets here,
369
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,428
what do you say we go out
and bowl?
370
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,821
What the fuck is this?
371
00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:56,216
What does it look like?
It's your wake.
372
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,913
A little fucking early,
don't you think?
373
00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,219
Most assuredly not!
374
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:02,396
Your impending foolish death
is almost certain.
375
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,746
And it has reunited our family,
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
376
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,227
Could someone translate
for Pardeep over here?
377
00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,446
We delivered
the car parts to you!
378
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:12,449
So you could complete
your moving coffin of steel!
379
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,625
Ah, there's no need
to thank us.
380
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,236
Your demise will be
good enough.
381
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:17,454
I made a fortune on tickets,
382
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,848
thanks to your pal
Larry here.
383
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,198
He called up every asshole
that you've ever known.
384
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,679
No, Richard,
this was not my idea!
385
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:27,987
Hey, one more word and I'll
arrest you for obstruction.
386
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:30,293
Let's get this show
on the road!
387
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,512
- Speech!
- Speech!
388
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:32,513
Come on!
389
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,123
ALL:
Speech, speech, speech!
390
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,124
Speech!
391
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,431
This must be so hard for you.
392
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:40,390
ALL:
Speech, speech, speech!
393
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:43,524
Speech, speech!
394
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:46,048
Ugh!
[Choking]
395
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:48,964
[All chanting]
396
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:53,577
I don't know what to say.
397
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:57,233
Some asshole was telling me
that my life
398
00:16:57,233 --> 00:17:00,541
wasn't worth fuck-all
because I wasn't a nice guy.
399
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,413
I figured the guy was just
full of shit,
400
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:06,851
but now, seeing you all here,
401
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:11,595
I... I kind of...
402
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:15,208
Uh, Richard, Richard,
there's still time.
403
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,079
Just tell them how you feel.
404
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,950
Atone for your transgressions.
405
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,126
You can do this!
406
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,431
Look, the fact
that they're all here
407
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,260
means that they care about you
on some level!
408
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:28,395
Come on!
409
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:31,137
That's right.
410
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,400
You do care!
411
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,751
All of you made the trek
all the way down here.
412
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:40,015
So let me ask you something, assholes.
413
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:43,497
Who's going to turn up
when you kick off, huh?
414
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:54,986
Yeah, that's what I thought.
415
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,727
So guess what, fuckers?
416
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,686
That means I win!
417
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,689
Even when I'm being a dick,
I get all this!
418
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,777
I am a fucking legend!
419
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:03,908
Hey, fuck you!
420
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:05,301
[All shouting]
421
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:09,871
I'll see all you fucks at the
finish line!
422
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:13,918
[Gunshots]
423
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,405
Why aren't you at my brother's
going-to-die party?
424
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,321
I'm not really in
a celebrating mood.
425
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,236
[Gunshot]
426
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,759
Is it just me,
or is something bothering you?
427
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:31,371
Don't worry about it.
428
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:34,200
That'd be a lot easier if you
didn't have a gun in your hand.
429
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,854
They are intimidating,
aren't they?
430
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:39,292
All that power.
431
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:42,730
The immediacy of violence.
432
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,776
Take it for a spin.
433
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,490
[Gunshots]
434
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,145
Ex-husband.
435
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,495
Cellulite.
436
00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,279
And one for you, Dick.
437
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,242
You know, I never met a problem
I couldn't solve with a bullet.
438
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:21,072
Show me how to load it.
439
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,789
What are you doing here?
440
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,269
Just waiting to die.
441
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,968
Okay, can you hurry up?
442
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:50,319
I just got to lock up.
443
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,147
I failed Richard.
444
00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:54,584
I couldn't come up
with one good thing
445
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,370
that he's ever done
for anybody.
446
00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:59,198
Never!
447
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,418
That's not true, man.
448
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:05,639
Fitzy does a lot of good things.
449
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:08,294
That time he pretended
to be a cop,
450
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,861
took all those drugs away
from a bunch of kids.
451
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,080
And then,
we ended up doing them.
452
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,124
I give up!
453
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:17,564
Okay, do animals count?
454
00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,653
Meghan had this pet cat.
455
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,263
Orange Cat.
456
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:22,525
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
457
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:25,528
Ken hated that cat,
wanted to put it down.
458
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:29,402
Fitzy sold that cat
to a talent agent in L.A.
459
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,360
Ended up in a bunch of
commercials and stuff.
460
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:35,016
Josh, you know, sometimes
when bad things happen,
461
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:38,454
people don't tell the truth
462
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:43,546
because a lie hurts
a little less.
463
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:46,984
Okay, first off,
464
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:51,162
don't talk to me
like I'm a retard.
465
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,599
Sorry.
466
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:57,778
And second?
467
00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,302
There you go again,
like I'm a retard!
468
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:03,479
I know there's a second thing,
Larry!
469
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,525
Just...
470
00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:11,313
Bam!
471
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,706
Fitz's first paycheque,
472
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,751
for selling that cat
to the talent agent.
473
00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,496
So, Richard really is
a good person.
474
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,455
My work here is done.
475
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,547
Oh, no, it isn't!
476
00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:31,638
Oh, shit!
477
00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:34,423
It's Mrs. Mulroney's
brake cylinder.
478
00:21:34,423 --> 00:21:37,644
Then, why isn't it
in Richard's car?
479
00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:39,689
Fucking elves!
480
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:46,087
[Motor revving]
481
00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:48,132
[Tires screeching]
482
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,919
I know a shortcut
to Dead Person's Curve.
483
00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:53,529
- We can beat him there!
- Go, go, go!
484
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:05,541
♪ It's not in the way
that you hold me ♪
485
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:09,632
♪ It's not in the way
you say you care ♪
486
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:13,506
♪ It's not in the way you've
been treating my friends ♪
487
00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,116
Get over!
488
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:20,121
♪ It's not in the way
that you stay till the end ♪
489
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:22,515
♪ It's not in the way you look
490
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:24,125
♪ Or the things that you say
that you do ♪
491
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:28,172
♪ Hold the line
492
00:22:28,172 --> 00:22:30,697
♪ Love isn't always on time
493
00:22:30,697 --> 00:22:34,483
♪ Woah woah woah
494
00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:37,965
♪ Hold the line
495
00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:40,533
♪ Love isn't always on time
496
00:22:40,533 --> 00:22:42,578
He should be here
by now.
497
00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:45,189
Yeah, even if he took that other
road through the Hennessy farm.
498
00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:46,800
Come to think of it,
499
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,456
he'd have avoided Dead Person's
Curve altogether.
500
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,415
Brakes, fuck!
501
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:56,200
Fuck!
502
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,593
[Tires screeching]
503
00:22:57,593 --> 00:22:59,552
[Crashing]
504
00:22:59,552 --> 00:23:03,599
Richard!
505
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,514
No!
506
00:23:17,874 --> 00:23:22,444
14 minutes and 27 seconds.
507
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,621
Fuck you, Kyle, I win!
508
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:27,449
Richard, Richard!
509
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,016
Is the car okay?
510
00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:33,150
Richard, you took an alternate
route to avoid certain death.
511
00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:37,633
No, I took a different route
'cause I do things my way!
512
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,026
And you did something good,
partner!
513
00:23:39,026 --> 00:23:40,288
Orange Cat!
514
00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:45,075
Yeah, that fucking cat
still owes me money.
515
00:23:45,075 --> 00:23:46,555
Let's worry about that later.
516
00:23:46,555 --> 00:23:48,296
Right now, we've still got
some living to do, mister!
517
00:23:48,296 --> 00:23:50,820
At least for another day
or so.
518
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,126
Oh, your shoe's untied.
519
00:23:52,126 --> 00:23:53,736
Hey, remember when
we were 8?
520
00:23:53,736 --> 00:23:54,650
The bunny ears
go in the rabbit hole!
521
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:57,610
I fucking got it-- oh!
522
00:23:57,610 --> 00:23:59,481
Ugh!
523
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,048
Richard?
524
00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:04,007
Fitzy? Fitzy!
525
00:24:04,007 --> 00:24:07,620
But in the end,
it wasn't a blazing car crash
526
00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:10,797
that killed Richard
Fitzpatrick, or syphilis.
527
00:24:10,797 --> 00:24:13,539
It was his fucking conscience.
528
00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:16,585
It's you!
529
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:29,816
♪